The Devil That You Know EP 29: Game Over (1)

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♙Kai Hamilton♙

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Kai hoped (and prayed a bit) that the next day would be better. But upon waking, he quickly realized that was just wishful thinking. He lay in bed for a while, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. His mind seemed to be stuck in a feedback loop of too many thoughts and not enough, which caused his gut to churn whenever it got just on the edge of overwhelming. After a few minutes, he knew lying here was not going to work, so he pulled himself up.

He doesn’t really remember how but somehow he finds himself sitting before his crime board staring at notes and ideas. He kept replaying everything that had happened so far over in his head, trying desperately to see if he could just figure it out. But every run is met with a wall, a broken lead, or just nothing.

He could speculate all the way until he’s blue in the face but that would do shit in this situation. A deep sigh falls from his lips as he just sinks back into his chair. A small headache began to pulse at the back of his head.

Finding this mused useless he decided to go to the one place that gives him at least a bit of comfort.

Outside seemed to match the mood he was in, dark and depressing. Heavy rainfall and dark clouds with a cool wind whipping around. He was a drowned rat by the time he got to the orphanage’s door. Inside was at least a bit warmer so he shook off a bit. It was quiet which wasn’t too odd given the time, class should be going on at this time. It was one of the many things Father Walter made sure that the children at least got a basic education. The orphanage was much better off than before, but Walter always ensured he could provide as much as possible for the children.

“Kai?”

Kai turns from his musing to see one of the sisters, Sarah. Sarah smiles tiredly. It has been a while since his last visit, and he already feels guilty about it, but now it feels a little bit worse.

“It’s been a while since you were last here…” She says with a bit of an awkward trail off.

“Yeah, things have been pretty chaotic for the last few weeks. I uh was hoping to chill out here for a bit. Maybe talk to the Father or maybe Maria?” He says with a weak smile.

Her expression shifts a bit as she gives off a more regretful look.

“Oh, well the Father is in a business meeting today. He just started actually, and Maria’s been sick for the last week or so. Been a nasty virus going around town and even a few kids got sick.”

The guilt from before became a heavy stone as Kai’s expression turned pale.

“She’s sick? I-I didn’t know that… is she going to be okay?”

“She’s going to be okay, just needs a lot of rest. She was fighting it pretty well so far until earlier this week. Lots of the kids got it first before she did.”

Kai nods a bit numbly as his gaze drops to the floor. Back when Kai first left the orphanage, he used to visit a great deal. Partially, he was still living there if he was being honest. However, as the years got along and he became more intertwined with everything happening in the upper district, his visits became more infrequent. He didn’t mean for it to happen and usually wrote it off as just a thing that happens in life.

And logically he knows that is true, but that doesn’t stop the guilt from welding up.

“..I’m sorry I haven’t come around as much.”Kai says with a sudden face.

She gives him a pitiful look.

“I know the others give you a lot of grief, but like the Father said, you are giving these kids something to believe in.” She said giving him a look of pride.

The chuckle that comes out of Kai is a mix of amusement and sarcasm. For the most part, everyone at the orphanage knows about Kai’s police job, which is kind of hard to hide given how infamous he is. However, only Walter knows exactly how he got that job, through some very unsavory means. He’s sure if Sarah knew exactly how and what he had to do to get the job, and hell even a bit of what he does, she probably wouldn’t feel as proud of him. Sarah didn’t notice his facial change which Kai is thankful for but the bitter feeling around what she just said just seemed to throw his whole situation back in his face.

“…Right..” He replied weakly.

“Sarah..”

Kai and Sarah both turn to the voice that is called out. It was one of the other sisters, particularly one Kai remembers quite well …unfortunately. Sister Anna gives Kai a pointed glance before turning her attention fully to Sister Sarah.

“If you are done here, class change is happening soon.” Anna says with a frown.

Her tone almost makes it sound like a suggestion, but Kai and Sarah both knew Anna well enough to know that it wasn’t. Sarah gives Kai a small apologetic smile before quickly heading back upstairs. Anna’s gaze doesn’t leave Kai even as Sarah scurries by her and the other two sisters with her. For a moment, there was just a tense stare down, and then Anna finally spoke.

“…Why are you here Kai?”

Her tone was one of exhaustion as if she had this particular conversation one too many times. And she would be right in that sentiment.

It wasn’t a secret that Kai wasn’t… well received. This was due to his rather wild ways of growing up. Being bullheaded and constantly needing to question authority was what Anna would always say when she complained to the Father. Growing up, Kai was the troubled kid, always dragging Maria and Evan into his crazy schemes.

“…I-”

“Whatever trouble you’ve gotten yourself in, don’t bring it here.”

Her words felt like a gunshot to his heart, hitting a bit close to home as it was. She looks at him rather similarly to the gaze he got at work. They screamed ‘unwanted’ in a crystal clear tone.

“…Do you know why Father Walter sent you away?”

Her question felt like a cold wave of water. Icy to touch and overwhelming, harsh and suffocating. Kai opened his mouth to spout off something heroic or noble as the Father told him. But his words died in his throat the positively pointed look that Anna had on her face.

She always had a way of making Kai feel small, even at this age it would seem.

“It was because he finally understood that you are dangerous. That your arrogance would cause trouble if you stayed. Poisoning the younger children.”

Many words pass through Kai’s mind but none of them leave his lips.

“…I’m just trying to make the city better, for people like us.” Kai settles for saying.

Anna let out a small laugh with a nod of her head.

“Hm, I’m sure that’s what you believe you are doing… but even you aren’t that naive Kai.” She said giving him a pointed look.

“You know as well as I do that this city doesn’t want to change. Even the people here, end up playing the game eventually.”

Silence hangs in the air as her words worm into Kai’s mind. He understood what she getting at. This city has been around longer than he’s been alive, he knew that and understood it. People get used to a certain status quo after some time and in turn, take comfort in it even if the odds are against them.

Its… familiar at least.

But Kai know- believes that if given the choice. A real choice, people will be different.

“…I understand that. However…there’s a difference between a choice in playing the game and knowing it’s all just a game.” Kai says with a grim frown.

She almost looks impressed by that statement but then lets out a mocking laugh.

“..Do you honestly think that given the choice the people would choose otherwise? You have a….shocking amount of faith in human nature.”

Kai grinds his teeth as he can feel the condescending tone of her words. She seemed to watch him for a few moments before a strange look crossed over her face. It almost looks like pity which confuses Kai.

“…You will find that people are… seldom who they say they are. Human nature is a fickle thing, people will smile in your face and then stab you in the back in the next second.”

This wasn’t anything like he was expecting from her. She almost looks concerned for him.

“You almost sound concerned for me…” Kai said with a laugh.

Her gaze feels like it’s trying to peel back his skin to see …something deep within.

“…All I will say is this. Eventually, everyone plays the game. Even those you may think would never…”

She then leaves without even a glance back. Her words were ominous, like a curse that was being cast upon him. Kai stands there with the rumble of the rain outside, feeling a bit off-beat. Their conversation did nothing to ease the uneasy feeling in his gut and made the looming aimless mood all worse.

“…What now..?”

At least if he was able to talk to Maria she could give him some kind of reassurance. He wouldn’t be stuck in his own mind. He ends up roaming around, as lost in thoughts as he was before. He finally comes back to himself as his eye catches a flash of light. He was in the between areas of the lower and upper districts. There were a few people around which made sense given the rain. He was in front of a thrift shop of some kind and he was peeking into a display window. There was a large screen TV and on it was probably the last person he wanted to see.

Cool steel-colored eyes stared back at him as the face of Aresio Gasparini took up the screen. It had to be an older interview as Aresio rarely did interviews.

An idea suddenly brewed in Kai’s mind at seeing him.

“…If I can’t beat the game, then I’ll get someone who can..”