The Devil that you know EP 26: Domino Effect (2)

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♙Kai Hamilton♙

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The rage on Rafeeqa’s face was like a raging storm, one that Kai was more or less expecting. She turns away for a second, letting out a deep breath as she runs a hand over her face before turning back to Kai.

“Kai, you have to tell Jonas.”

Kai lets out a sigh as he knew that would be her immediate reaction. If things were different, he would agree with her. He would have immediately told Jonas himself if that were the case. But he knows how that little bit of information would go over, especially coming from him.

“I don’t think-”

“Kai, this is serious! Jonas needs to know if-”

“She going to target a cop?” Kai finishes her sentence.

The look she gives him turns from confusion to a cold understanding all at once. The frown that pulls to her lips spells out her displeasure.

“…You believe him.”

And this is why he was hesitant to tell her and for good reason, it would seem.

“…Yes I do.” He replies without hesitation.

“Why?”

“What makes you believe that she didn’t kill Ameer but this is too far-fetched?”

“Because it is!”

They were getting too loud as a few heads turned to them. Kai averts his eyes and Rafeeqa gives a kind smile before it melts away turning back to Kai. They both waited until everyone returned to their own tasks before continuing this conversation quietly.

“Her killing Ameer makes no sense as I’ve already explained to you. But an officer watching Ameer makes equally no sense.”

“It does if they are trying to cover something up.”

Rafeeqa’s face turns to a sneer as a bitter laugh tumbles out.

“The missing kid’s case. That’s what this is about right?”

“It’s the one thing that ties them all together!”

“Even if it does Kai, why the hell do you think that we have anything to do with it?!”

“Because it makes sense!”

“Oh does it? There’s barely any police presence here unless a report is made! They hate us!”

“No, they fear us, there’s a difference.”

Rafeeqa rolls her eyes at that but doesn’t dispute it.

“Fine, whatever. The lower district thinks that we are the minions of the rich assholes in the upper district. They are not wrong but why would those stuck-up pricks care even a minor bit about some kids in the lower district?”

“You said it yourself if the lower district banded together, they could easily take this city.”

Rafeeqa suddenly pauses and just looks at Kai. In a way, her gaze feels like it goes straight through him which leaves a cold stone-like sensation in his stomach. Her next words almost made him do a double take.

“Sometimes I forget you’re not from around here. Otherwise, you wouldn’t ever even say that.”

Kai quickly ate back his words as he almost forgot about the fake background he gave in order to be hired without suspension.

“No one in the lower district would dare have that idea. Those rich assholes you hate so much wouldn’t allow that kind of mindset which I’m pretty sure you already know. So the idea that you are being purposely obtuse is both insulting and also very confusing.”

“Why are you so pissed at me? You don’t care about those guys either!” Kai responded a bit defensively.

He couldn’t help the frustration bleeding in his voice. He knew she had similar feelings about the elites of this city.

“I’m not upset at you because of that. I’m mad cause you took a risk, that you felt was calculated by not telling Jonas. Did you even think for one second that you may have been the cause of what got Ameer killed?!”

Her words felt like gunshots and the color and sound suddenly lost its meaning around Kai. He didn’t think that at all, in fact, the idea didn’t cross his mind at the time. He wasn’t an idiot, he never approached Ameer again. He kept his distance and usually wasn’t in uniform.

“Did he tell you who it was?”

“…Not exactly but it wasn’t hard to guess.” Kai answers.

He didn’t see the purpose in lying to her at this point. She laughed humorlessly and shook her head like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Which probably wasn’t all that far off probably. Kai was certain if this was anyone else, they would have kicked his ass from just the first bit.

“I get that you think you’re better than us. I’ve seen the way you look at the others. At me sometimes.”

“Rafeeqa-”

She raises a hand cutting off his words.

“I don’t want to hear it. Just listen for once.”

Kai keeps his mouth shut and just looks back at her.

“..I knew you never trusted me and I made peace with that. What I wasn’t expecting was that you felt such disgust that you were fine with gambling with peoples lives!”

“I wasn’t gambling with anyone’s life!”

“So what were you doing Kai? Please I’m all ears.”

“Kai, Rafeeqa.”

Their conversation stopped in an instant at hearing Jonas’s voice calling to them. Everyone was looking at this with mixed curiosity and confusion and Jonas’s face was filled with suspicion.

“You two got something to share with the class?”

Kai makes a point not to look back at Rafeeqa before mumbling a ‘no’ to Jonas. He can feel the heat of her eyes on him, however.

“…No boss, I’ve got nothing to say.”

The relief that she didn’t out him didn’t feel as good as it should have. It felt like ash, fleeting, and disappeared in a blink as she walked past him. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur until he was back in his apartment. Once he got home, he just stood in his kitchen in silence for a while. He couldn’t quite describe the feeling he was having. He wasn’t sure if he felt guilty and in some way he kind of made him feel worse.

Would he have ever trusted her enough to tell her naturally? He wasn’t 100% sure but every bit of him is leaning toward no. So why did he feel just a bit guilty?

“Fuck…” He mumbled as he slumped into his couch.

He didn’t get to rest for long as there is a knock at his front door. He turns to it and already knows it is Rafeeqa. She was the only person he’s ever brought here. He gets up and goes to open the door, steeling himself a bit before it opens. The two seemed to be shocked at seeing each other which would be comical but the current circumstances don’t allow it. Rafeeqa quickly turns away as she speaks.

“…I forgot that some of the things are here…so..” She trails off.

“Oh, right..”

Kai then steps out of her way and lets her inside. The silence that hung between them was awkward and a little bit stifling. She was quickly collecting her things when Kai tried to talk to her.

“Rafeeqa…”

She pauses but doesn’t turn to look at him.

“I… It wasn’t that I wanted to trust you. I wanted to tell you quite a few times..”

The “among other things” was silently said in his head. And he did truly want to trust her, but being burnt once was already a big blow. During the Garner case, he had trusted someone, not with every bit of information he had found but with just a small hint. And that almost cost him his life. And Jonas didn’t even believe him at the end of the day. Which is why he has a habit of working outside of his badge.

“But the point is you didn’t. And I don’t think you would have trusted me fully even if I’m sharing your bed.”

And that was a cold truth that Kai had been turning away from since day one of their relationship. He knows it’s cruel, and he’s sure if Father Walter could see him, he would be shaking his head. Originally Kai’s mission was to just solve Evan’s murder, that was the only thing that was on his mind when he first joined. But afterward, maybe he got arrogant? Or just felt too full of himself like so many others say about him. He knew that trying to make friends wasn’t possible if he was just going to keep lying but something made him yearn for it.

“Rafeeqa-”

“Until you get off your high horse and tell Jonas. I-I can’t do this.”

Her ultimatum was expected but at the same time wasn’t. She continued to pack her few things away before going to leave. He barely felt her pass him as she went for the door. But then she pauses.

“…I get you to think that you’re some hero sent to save this city. But let me give you a little piece of advice.”

She then turns to him, the look on her face reminds him of the way everyone in the station looks at him from time to time. Filled with disdain, and cold as ice.

“This city doesn’t take kindly to heroes. There have been plenty of those before you and there will be plenty after you. Some of us are just trying to survive. Think about that the next time you get all high and mighty.”

And then she is gone, taking with her the warmth that had been slowly building in Kai’s apartment.